Tuesday, June 8, 2010

rheumatologist

at the rheumatologist's office and waiting for my name to be called. i felt relieved last night that i'd be making this a professional's intellectual problem today. i can tough out the physical part, whick isn't bad at this point, but the wondering what i can and should do has been exhausting.

now, as i look around at the elderly patients in the waiting room, i'm getting anxious. it's not only because it feels damn inappropriate and unfair for a 26 year old health food eating work out 6 days a week girl woman to share the room with the elderly, but it brings back how i felt at 16 in a similarly populated waiting room. shitty is the word that comes to mind. that or scared shitless. it's amazing what fear and anger does for my vocabulary.

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